Last Friday I attended a workshop about trauma and the body. Part of it was about how trauma settles in your body and stays there, even after years go by. Experiencing the deeper connection with my own body and with the other participants always feels so worthwhile and energising. It can be difficult, but it always gets better by giving it more focus. The traumatic side needs attention to really focus on the bodily experiences to learn which needs have not been met. The positive feelings in the body need the biggest attention because we want them to grow. Traumatic experiences and feelings have been visiting us for many years. Whereas positive experiences can be quite new visitors.
Secure Nest is useful to touch base with your traumatic experiences that resulted in schemes and modes. Together with that our biggest focus is on making room for already known or really new positive experiences. The breakthrough is about experiencing the deeper connection within yourself and trusting on that in your relationships. Learn to give yourself what you need in your daily life. The deepening experience can also take place in the treatment session. Here are two recent examples.
With a young woman I do a lot of imagery exercises. At home she is focussing on the exercises with the Vulnerable Child and a safe space (happy place). During the exercise in treatment she suddenly tells me she can already feel the sand under her feet again. Knowing she is safe again. The sand we have been feeling a lot, to touch base with the ground underneath. She tells me the beach is changing. The beach from her childhood suddenly changed into the beach she visited with a good friend some months ago. She tells me: “I can really feel the sand, and the sun. There’s is also a light breeze caressing my face and hair”.
Another young woman was busy in a project for study for some weeks. Because of my holiday we planned less sessions in those weeks. When I was on holiday I noticed she entered several mode diaries in her Secure Nest. The first session after my holiday period she appeared really relieved. She told me the diaries helped her so much. Filling in the forms, she noticed her Demanding Parent was really apparent. She managed to calm down herself and her body and even made some big decisions during this stressful weeks. By focusing on her Demanding Parent and bodily sensations she found out more about which needs have not been met. So it gave room to change this in her daily life, experiencing a release in her body.
Let us keep in mind that it is always worthwhile to touch base with your feelings within. In treatment and in daily life. Plan regular visits to go there, so you will find what you need.
The Secure Nest Team